Tayalynn: This great stuff and I am certain that my readers would love it. Can I get permission to reprint in on my blog? I'd be glad to give you and your salon some free pub.

I love the way you write and would love to have you as a guest contributor from time to time.

Barb Quinn
BarbQuinn.14035695@bloglines.com
www.hairstyle-blog.com

I am right here...........is there something you needed?  Just ask away!

Cindy Farr Hester   Asst Moderator

www.behindthechair.com

Dear gang-

I don't really view it as free advertising.  The member is a hairdresser and I have visited the website, and she offers things there that we do not.  I feel I need to allow things that could be of interest to our members.  I do not see any hard sells going on here.  In any situation, if it was to get out of hand, I would make a decision.

The choice to participate in outside press or a blog, whatever it may be is up to the member to decide.

Cindy Farr Hester   Asst Moderator

www.behindthechair.com

Oh, I thought it wasn't allowed, because I saw Hairmavens site deleted and he has the same thing.  Forum for chatting etc.  Why was his site deleted?  I think it's great!

In fact, it actually has google advertising on it, which makes the website money.  Which in turn means the more the site is browsed, the more money they make.  Looks like free advertising to me!  And they advertise to buy products online!  How horrible is THAT?

It's not even a blog!  It's a full on site full of advertising!  Did you even look?  When you click on the site, it changes names.  It isn't even the site that is posted here.

I was wondering the same thing because from what I've been informed about Behind the Chair, this site had issues with past posters who mentioned or advertised other hair informative sites and forums. From what I understand people have been kicked off of this site for this minor infraction and some kisked off for even less than this. How can it no longer be an issue and why was it even an issue in the first place?

Bravo!  Bravo!

Now, if I can only make up a sign and post it at my station, I would love to hear the comments the clientelle would have.

This is where I should of posted under this thread.  Looking forward to the future.  I hope you all have a great Holiday Season.

Cindy Farr Hester  Asst Moderator

www.behindthechair.com

Thanks for understanding, I must of been real tired last nite

Happy Holidays,

Cindy Farr Hester  Asst Moderator

www.behindthechair.com

I love what you wrote about "What your hairstylist will never tell you"....absolutely awesome.  Here is another peeve of mine.  When our salon is completely booked and one of us is at the front desk with receptionist(not licensed) and some raving women or man walks in and says "Oh, looks like you "guys" aren't busy", or everytime I try to "walk-in", you guys don't look busy, but tell me you are booked--GO FIGURE. People need to stop being so damn selfish and get over it.

I absolutely love your "Ten Things a Stylist Wont Tell You" !! It's sooo funny because the other day while our beauty school was holding a clinic, me and some of the other girls were talking about how the parents will bring in their kids and sit and talk to you about how cute they are and how perfect they are, *while they're running around like maniacs destroying everything* i just find it hard to believe that someone would actually think its ok to let their children act like that

awesome job Taya, that was the truth. How about those great tippers though? I have just lost a long time client over scheduling problems. It breaks my heart a little, but it was way more of a heartbreak to see her walk in the door 15 mins early and be boiling by the time I got to her 7 or 10 mins late! She acted like she owned me just because she thought she paid more for her services than anyone else and she's a good tipper. Truth is, I had to schedule a 15-30 min  dummy appt so I wouldn't be late and then a full hour for a lousy 45$ blowdry and that great 25$ tip. She was great training for me as a newer stylist, very picky and well groomed, had her hair done all over the world. It's hard to  focus on an area of this field and not hurt anyones feelings. I started out doing every service my license covered, facials,waxing(full body), all hair and nails also. Even acrylic nails. As I became a busier stylist, I had to give up offering certain services. I won't miss doing wash and blow.

this particular lady lent me a large sum of money when she heard me talking about borrowing from my husbands 401k to buy our house. She wrote out a check on the spot and said "don't worry, I won't charge you interest." The next week she hands me a hand written IOU. I signed it, made her a copy and kept it. I did not notice on it that it did state " you will be my indentured hair slave until death do we part" just kidding, but I think she really thought she bought me. I paid her back in 3 or 4 years, with my tax return. She told me to forget about the last 500$ while I was still doing all the juggling to please her. The next year was when I stopped wash and blo. I do work at a very nice salon and the prices are competitive with the day spas in our area, but there is a step up salon, I can't imagine having all my clients be as pushy and demanding as that all while hiding behind the demure facade of "i'm the little old lady"

     p.s. we've lost clients over the please don't bring your child here while you recieve services rule. It is absolutely ridiculous to expect that it is ok to have yourself and other people enjoy themselves while there is a 5 yr old tazmanian devil on the loose.

i also agree-that most people don't like the fact i don't want children in the salon and probably have lost some-however the difference it makes for the other clients and the calmness is worth every one that may not have made the appt. or returned.  i don't have to run after the little bohemians either nor spend time disciplining.

definitely good you paid the lady back-that is exactly what happens when you borrow from anyone other than the bank or a family member.  you DO owe them and eventually the believe they 'own' you.  not good.

I'd send her a card, make it as sweet as possible...thanking her...for going elsewhere and freeing up your chair for a new client to enjoy your services.

i think it would affect her more if you cheered her on.  nice nice nice-  "Hi Hermes Lady!  I appreciate your letting me know about your new salon. I'm happy they will be able to meet your needs.  All the best."

if she ever decides to return to you and you choose to take her back-the rules would be set from day one.  any of the old behaviour would be absolutely unacceptable and it would be known immediately or i'd take the cape off and ask her to leave. she would be a 'new' client again, this time starting off with 'what you know now'.

Good for you locksylady-what a relief!

ok i would like to know how the mother thought you guys could do an up do on wet hair?  (she didn't want to pay for a blowout)
 

i'd like to put a sign in my salon that states:
  "We charge extra for CRAZY".......

People that want to chit chat on their cell phone while you are doing their hair. I step away from the chair when this happens. I bet there is no client that can go to their GYNO, DENTIST, OR CHURCH and be on their annoying NEXTEL phone the entire service or doctor visit without the jolly doc or pastor being offended. Why should we as professionals be any different.  Who really makes or receives a cell phone call while in those stirrups?

And..ALL KIDS...KEEP OFF THE *^%$ CHAIR PUMPS.

The owner of salon took some time off:

So I have been helping his wife, who has done a great job - learn the business.  We have 17 booth renters in a colour speciality salon.  It pretty much runs itself.  But we get many call ins due to advertising and our reputation.

I will share some weirdness and how we handled it.  I am aware some of you may not agree, but at this point in our careers, we can be a little more picky about who we choose to service.  If they are on the loony side - we do not need the frustration.  Listen to this:

Clients calls like 10 times in 1 hour.  Wants in with owner.  Keeps making appts and changing them.  Our recpt has the patience of a saint.  She said Cindy - I don't know what to with this lady.  I have tried everything.  I have told her to sit down and just regroup and think of her scedule and call me back when she knows she can come in.  She finally decided she does not need to be on the owners book - because it would be one of those situations where it would be trouble - and he would end up telling here to get out and there would be no pleasing her.  She was a little off I would say.  Can you help me?  I said sure.  The phone rang.  And it was her.  "Thank you for calling Diva Colour Studio"  yes I am trying to get in and I have an appt, but it just ins't going to work on that date.  I said OK, what is your name.  She told me - knew who I was dealing with.  I said I was just about to call you.  The man you have requested to do your hair just informed us needs to take that day off anyways, so it's a good thing you need to reschedule.  Oh, good she says.  Well can I have this date?  I said no mam he is booked on that day and she rambles a few more dates - booked, booked, booked,...........wow, she says...........when is his next opening.  I said..........it looks like he is booked till July 31.  What?  She says?  I am afraid so.  Well what about Roy?  Well Roy is book till like Feb and the only way you can get an appt with him is to go thru his Asst Rita, but I will be happy to give you her appt line.  Does he charge like 180?  I said no it was 190.  but he recently went up to $250.  Ohh..............but he is booked into Feb of next year I tell her.  Oh, my goodness she says.  Well, what about the appts that I changed all this AM.  We went over a few, and I said, they have all been filled.  Then she says how many colorist work there?  I say 17.  Our first opening in the salon is July 15.  Well, she says - how am I going to get my hair done?  I said, I am not sure, most of our clients pre book their next appt before they leave - we stay very busy.  Well, has anyone cancelled today?  I said I am afraid not.  I finally got her off the phone.

This is how I kept a lunatic from coming into our salon.  If you get a bad vibe and you know it is a loose loose situation, remember you have the right to refuse service to anyone.  I know the lady may have issues and her mind may have been circling, and she may calm down in a few days and could very well call back - and act diffferent and that is cool.  If she does - she can book an appt.  She simply needed to chill.

So there you go.  Very odd AM yesterday.

Cindy Farr Hester   Asst Moderator

LOL!

Listen, some people are just off.  And the longer you do this the choosier you can be.  And you can start to sense things.  It's kinda an intuition thing.  Like when you are doing a consultation and a client is telling you what they want and you know it will never work - or ethically you are not willing to go there - it is perfectly OK to say "I am sorry, but I do not think this is a wise choice for you hair.  This is what I think would be the most complimentary."  And then they say - well I don't care this is what I want............are you going to do it or what???  I would say No, I am sorry, but I am sure you will be able to find someone that will, good luck to you.  Have a nice day.  And then they are usually a little floored and react like..........."you mean you will not do my hair?!!"  Yes that is correct.  Have a nice day.

And this scenario applies to people that tell you 3 different things in a consultation that do not match up and you calmly try and make sense of it - your consultation serves as an opportunity to make sure you are on the same page and also as whether you would like to accept this person as a client.  Also whether the clients hair is in good enough shape to handle the service.

Some people think that changing their hair will make themselves feel better on the inside.  And in some cases that is very true.  But, if you are dealing with someone that is truly unhappy inside, I can promise you that no hairstyle or color change will fix an ill person inside.  They have mental health professionals for that.

Cindy Farr Hester  Asst Moderator

If you work for a salon that will not let you refuse service then by all means, make sure you follow your salons rules.  I don't want anyone to loose their jobs.

My situation is a little different in the fact that we are all rental, and I know the owner very well, and most of our rental staff stays booked.  Yes, I know we are very fortunate.  That does not mean we abuse this priviledge.  Everyone needs new clients from time to time and referrals to keep growing.  All of our stations are full at the moment.  When I was at a chain salon, it was privately owned, we did have the right to refuse service to anyone, but we used it at our discretion, please do not think this happens all the time.

As for the plastic surgery analogy - I actually had this happen to me.  I had always been on the fence about the boob job thing.  So I asked a plastic surgeon one time about just getting a little enhancement.  I wanted a a boob job that nobody would know that I had had - just fill them out just a little bit - and when I layed down they looked real, and when I was 70 years old - and muscles started relaxing they stayed where they were supposed to be - etc etc etc.  He asked me why I did not want them bigger.  I said I just want my clothest to look better.  He said it kinda seems like a waste of money to me.  He wanted to know if I had been thru a major life changing event like a divorce etc.  I said yes I had had a divorce - but that was not the reason - this was something I had thought of for a long time.  After we had talked a bit - he told me I was not a good cantidate for plastic surgery and it would be a waste of my money.  I needed to put some more thought in it.  So I am still thinking about it.  4 or 5 years later.

Cindy Farr Hester   Asst Moderator

At the risk of being told not to "babble" on topics of sociology or psychology (although that is what I went to college for), I have to tell you Tayalynn you are right. Plastic surgeons, car dealers, even pet breeders and of course hair stylists, deal with people who think something is going to make them happier than it does, even when it is perfect. The phenomena is called “impact bias-- impact meaning the errors we make in estimating both the intensity and duration of our emotions and bias our tendency to err” and/or “effective forecasting errors”. Both theories are basically the same. They take into account that we don’t realize that we will self regulate back to a state of normalcy (or calm), even when something is phenomenal, like you won the lottery. We think things will make us happy for much longer than they actually do, we think a nose job or new hair style, a new car or a new puppy, owning your own business, will continue to give us the same thrill we felt initially. These things do not do that we self regulate back to a state of calm and the thrill wears off usually much faster than we anticipate it will. Unfortunately, many people get buyers remorse when the thrill wears off, they abandon their new pet, try to return their expensive whatever, have repetitive plastic surgeries, and complain about hair color they loved the week before. Those are what I call the refund customers! The ones who do not take emotional responsibility for their decisions and therefore expect their false expectations to be filled continuously. It may actually be less of a phenomena in hair because it would be rather foolish for anyone to think they can get it styled once and never grow roots or need it cut again. Of course the hair cut/color complainer should really consider how a drastic change will feel once the thrill is gone. But I think I am getting a little off track here because Cindy’s caller seemed to have more problems going on than impact bias would cause. Although, it is those clients who have other psychological issues that have the hardest time dealing with impact bias as their emotions don’t allow them to chill out and realize the realities of life.

We were never really taught how to deal with in school a client telling us that she is being abused at home, example:  where to refer her if she is asking for help or what advice to offer or not.  They are in the process of trying to add a bit about this into the cosmetology textbooks in the schools.  They may have already done it.

I do know this, this is a very touch subject and you have to be trained to deal with it.  It's not as simple as just telling someone to get out.  Don't let him hit you.  How can you tell him how to wear you hair, etc.........  Some women feel so low at this point there is hardly any of them left. 

I didn't know if you were aware of this or not, but Clairol has started a wonderful campain for salons, and it is called Cut it Out.  Since Valley touched on the subject of abuse on this thread - I just wanted to put this out there for those of you that are interested.  They will supply your salon free of charge with counter cards and little business like cards that you can sit at your front desk that people can annonymously pick up that has the hotlines and things they need to think about before they leave.  They will also send your salon a packet on ways to deal with someone that may tell you she needs help.  Help is usally listening, not judging and then handing a card and with the info they need on it.  You can also add a link from your website to theirs.  They also offer training sessions for cosmetologist on how to deal with this delicate issue.  Salons have had cut a thons and stuff to raise money for this organization as it is non profit and you can adopt shelters as they are always in need when women get the strength to flee their abusers sometimes with only their children and clothes on their backs.  I will provide the link for you if you would like to look into it further.

If you all want to get into this subject further, please start another thread - OK?

http://www.cutitout.org/

Cindy Farr Hester   Asst Moderator