I have a salon in my home which I did hair full time in a great salon but realized that doing hair full-time just wasn't for me and I decided to pursue my other love which is the law.  My husband and I have worked very hard getting everything up to code just for the few clients that i choose to still do.  I have probably about 12 that I do on a regular basis and have pretty much decided to not take on any new clients.  I love doing hair, so please don't get the wrong idea, its just that working in a salon full time sort of spoiled the fun for me.  Anyways, my full time job is a legal secretary for a very large firm.  One of the Paralegals found out that I am a stylist and sort of offered to let me do her hair.  She indicated that i could have fun doing her hair.  I realized that she must not realize that i am a professional and expect to be respected as a stylist.  I competed in VICA and CMBS and after the first time I did her hair and she loved it I hoped that she would have a little more respect for my talents.  She was always consistently late but never more than 10 minutes.  Sunday would have been the 4th time that i have done her hair.  I do an all over base color with a foil highlight and a cut and it takes me about an hour and a half, especialy when we get to gabbing.  Her appointment on Sunday was for 12:00 noon.  By 12:20 when she had not shown up yet, I started to get concerned.  At 12:30 her daughter called to inform me that she was on her way (she lives only 10 minutes from me) and that she should be here any time.  By 1:00 she had still not shown and I had previous engagements at 2:30 so I called her house hoping to get the daughter and find out if she could get a hold of the client I(her mother) and stop her from coming and reschedule, but!  Instead, the client answered nonchalantly.  I was so surprised that i blurted out "what are you doing there?"  She said, "oh yeah, i'm on my way" and i stopped her and said, "look i think i'm going to need to reschedule i have plans and since your appointment was at 12 I made plans for 2:30 thinking that it wouldn't be a conflict.  She was obvoiusly very pissed and blamed me for making obligations so closer to her appointment.  We rescheduled for Thursday (tonight) at 6:45.  She showed up at 7:00 (meaning she had to have left after her appointment time) I politley asked her to be more considerate of my time by being on time next time.  Well, she freaked, like completly went psycho to the point where i was petrified!  She told me that her son tried to commit suicide on sunday and that's why she was running late.  I said "my god, why didn't you tell me?  We could have rescheduled" (i'm thinking this is a lie as she is known as a liar and why would she have had her daughter call if her son was infront of them committing suicide?)  She could tell i wasn't really buying it so she started screaming "being late is a disease, i take medication and go to counseling!"  I said "for being late?" she said yes, I have struggled with it all of my life!"  I said "look i think you need to find a new stylist" and i asked her to leave.  But she came back 5 minutes later and had a complete break down in my living room!  She was such a drama queen flailing her body around and shaking her head ucontrolably.  At this point i obviously believe she is completly mental which i had somewhat suspected before but hadn't thought much of it.  So anyways, this has gotten way to long, and I am so freaked out about seeing her at work tomorow.  I'm not sure what to do.  Should I act like this never happened?  I guess i would like a little conformation that I was in the right by asking her to be more considerate of my time and then later asking her to find a different stylist.  Has anyone every had this happen to them?  Help!? (and thanks for reading the novel)

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DUMP HER and don't do anymore people from work- can get awkward if things don't work out.

She is a late freak and they will continue to be late as long as people let them get away with it!  Boot her- or start charging late fees.. no show fees and cancellation fees.

ugh. My heart goes out to you and to had to have dealt with that in your own home!

NEVER let her back there. She's a self centered cheeseball- there is no such thing as "late disease". What a jerk and to involve her daughter in holding you off, the poor daughter. She probably has to do that for her mother so many times every month. How awful. And it's plain that she has no respect for you, your home and your time.

She is either totally self-centered, narcissic or has really bad time management issues. But I'm dubious about her explaination: I bet she gets to work on time...............

One of the Paralegals found out that I am a stylist and sort of offered to let me do her hair.  She indicated that i could have fun doing her hair.  I realized that she must not realize that i am a professional and expect to be respected as a stylist.  I competed in VICA and CMBS and after the first time I did her hair and she loved it I hoped that she would have a little more respect for my talents.

This is a problem I see all over the place...regardless of your level of expertise. "I competed in VICA and CMBS...so what! I mean really, so what! You competed. Therefor you must be the best? Why do stylists have to validate their job for respect. You are in the service industry. Yes, clients will be nuts, some won't. If you are as good as you say...this can't be the first time you have encountered a problem. But the really successful stylist will know how to turn that person around.

And you want to be a lawyer??? Yea, you won't encounter any nuts in that business.

I realized that she must not realize that i am a professional and expect to be respected as a stylist.  I competed in VICA and CMBS and after the first time I did her hair and she loved it I hoped that she would have a little more respect for my talents. 

So I guess you are in it for the respect. Gee, no one is ever late for "ME" at my salon. Please...

Instead, the client answered nonchalantly.  I was so surprised that i blurted out "what are you doing there?"  Why didn't you blurt out..."Is everything oK? Are you OK? Nice caring attitude. No...YOU are fault here regardless of your reasons for not showing up. You were mad because she was late for your part time hair appointent. Heaven forbid something may have gone wrong with her. Who are you to judge. So by answering..."What are you doing there" you lost right there. Nice compassion.

Granted, she has issues, and yes indeed, I would have most definitely said thank you but no thank you...but what happened to customer service or just being nice! And so what if she was late or missed her appointment. It happens to everyone...even competitors in VICA and CMBS. Perhaps its a good thing you are getting out of the business. The business needs more listeners without an ego problem.

However, your story will make a great "how not to act or respond to a client" in my book I am working on. Thank you!

Man this stuff is great! A stylist fitting the very stereo type that gives the stylists a bad name.

And you want to be a lawyer!!! God help your client if they are late...although there aren't any stage competitions in that game...just real life trials should you choose to litigate.

hairgent

I would write her a letter, expressing compassion for her situation, but also letting her know that you will not be doing her hair and express to her that YOU felt violated in YOUR own home due to her disease and that is not OK with you. Tell her you are sorry for her troubles but you are not in the personal position to be able to deal with that sort of ailment. thank her for her business and wish her luck.

No letters!!!

The best thing to teach yourself is to verbally communicate this kind of stuff with a client. It will make you stronger and it's better than a letter because: people like this thrive on how much attention they can get. and if you sat down and spent time composing a letter...they will feel that they win and that you will give them time. maybe not do their hair, but it leaves you open to other annoyances they can put on you.

weird I know, but people are complex and this kind of personality is the most complex of all. We know why people do some of the things they do- even if we don't understand why they would do it. Does that make sense?

The thing that people like this never get to see very often is someone looking them in the eye and saying no. she needs that. And you need to be free of an idiot like this.

letters can be seen as fear, fear of confrontation. To someone who is totally self asborbed or self centered to an extreme degree, a letter will be seen as aweakness and not taken seriously at all.

I am sure she has no problem confronting people, and please keep in mind that she will have to work with this nut on a daily basis. If she is that loonie and she is confronted in a manner in which she feels attacked it may get ugly, or get verbally abusive from both sides, a letter will explain clearly what our hairstylist would like to say without the potential of this crack pot thinking revenge! as this could be a possibility. A letter may sound cowardly to you guys but to a nut it is a way to communicate without ruffling her feathers to much, it is non threatening, she could be on the verge of a nervous breakdown and physically attack our hairdresser. You don't know where people are coming from. Get your point across, stick to your guns, be non confrontational. Good luck.

Confronting or comunicating with this person especially if you have to see them face to face anyway does not have to mean confrontational.  Quite the opposite...maybe "confronting" is the wrong word.  The whole key to dealing with people...especially "nut cases"... is NOT becoming confrontational. 

Fashionista, I agree with you 1 million percent. A lack of respect from a client on a consistant basis is very frustrating.

Re. your law career, I misunderstood. You mentioned you were going into the law profession so I figured you were perhaps working at the firm, getting a feel for the career and maybe getting your degree at night. Which in itself would be awesome. I have 4 lawyers in the family. No discredit to the law profession or your new job.

And I never assumed you were an unliscenced yahoo doing hair in your kitchen. I know several that work from home and love it. It's a nice luxury, certainly better than spending $1000 or so on commercial space.

Having found out more about this person, you are right, she definitely sounds like a Sybilesque type of person. I am sorry you are having to deal with her at work now.  But if you figured her out, probably the rest of the office knows it and maybe she won't be around for very long.

You know, sounds like you sort of had a gut instinct about the women from the get-go based on her general attitude. Next time...follow your gut! ;-) Seriously, I know it was probably a sticky situation. You were being nice to a fellow employee. Turns out she was a nightmare.

The bottom line, you have every right in the world to vent about this person and her lack of respect for your profession. That's the beauty of an open discussion forum. And I shouldn't have been so quick to judge.

My bad on my response. I guess I too was venting. I have been fed up lately with the general tone of the stylist these days (not that you fit that either...I guess I was just trigger happy). It does take the fun out of our business.

Best of luck to you in your duel venture. Hope all works out at the law office.

hairgent

ponitail, I understand what you mean but I still disagree.

If this woman is a true nutjob, then how many times do you think she will "find" the opportunity to pull this letter out of her purse to show everyone she tells about this? including others that they work with? then who appears to be overly dramatic- especially on a simple matter such as this?

Letters can be seen as fear of confrontation- I know this because I always wrote letters because I was fearful. It takes every ounce of everything I have to look someone dead in the eye and say that I will no longer be available to do the service for them anymore. but I always walk away feeling better and somewhat empowered in that I stood up for myself. Everyone giggles or makes the connection of fear from "dear John" type letters such as this. Why give her ammo to work with?

the other problem with letters: you end up saying too much. This is truly a simple matter that requires minimal expression. A true professional can stick up for themselves without being negatively confrontational. It's not automatically going to end up being fisticuffs in the alley or a screeching yelling episode just because it's a verbal confrontation........

 First off sorry that you had that experience but especially in your home. I too work from my home and I believe you did the right thing by asking her to find a new stylist. You don't want someone bringing that energy into your home.  Im sure she will either act like nothing ever happened or apologize. Either way hold your ground and dont entertain her she is really a nut case!!!! Plus I think if you would have listened to your inner voice you knew she was wacked, and that some people dont ever respect what we do as a proffesion. much love and light to you and I hope you can shake that energy.

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XDandelionSunshinex ...that was almost a year ago...Why are you still so intrenched in this??? 

Is that what this board IS about??   Get Over it already.

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Dear xDandelionSunshinex

Both of the posters you have mentioned have not posted here in a very long time.  These boards have been a helpful inviting place for some time.  I agree that bringing up something that is a year old is not really give these boards a chance and they are monitored closely.  I really do not see the reason to get so upset about an old post and relive it.  You decide what is best for you.

Cindy Farr Hester  Asst Moderator

Thanks for caring enough to follow-up and I'm sorry I didn't update everyone. 

The paralegal acted like nothing ever happened at work and I did the same. The firm ended up firing her only a few weeks later after the incident, apparently they knew what she was all about.  Plus, after they fired her, they offered to pay for me to go to school and become a paralegal, which I'm doing now. But still doing hair in my in-house salon and am loving it.  Nothing too terribly shady has happened since, just my annoying mother who thinks she can make appointments at the drop of the hat since its in my house, but everyone else has been very respectful!

Medication for lateness!? Now I have heard it all. How old was this client? Someday she will behave in this manner and the person on the receiving end won't be so kind and will knock her block off. I wonder how she can maintain a professional image at the law firm.

You were in no way wrong by asking for consideration. If it was true that her son tried to commit suicide would she really have taken the time to get her hair done; that's absurd! Her son was probably hoping to escape the nut house environment he was living in.

At work just be professional, that's all you really can do. In time things will pass.

Good luck

Britboy is the best thing that ever happened to these boards.

Factual, interesting, knowledgeable, which is more than can be said for any of dandelion's 'rants'.