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Posted By:fashionista on: 1/31/2008 7:24:16 AM

Author: Thread: Dealing with Mothers as Clients
Posts: 30

Dealing with Mothers as Clients
Posted: Thursday, January 31, 2008 7:24:16 AM
I've been doing hair for over 5 years, I put myself through beauty school, with no help whatsoever from my mother.  I have a VERY demanding, and annoying mother.  She will call me at the last minute demanding that I do her hair (in an hour, or in 2 hours).  She expects me to clear my schedule for her since she is my mom.  She won't pay more than $5 or $10 for 2 or more hours of my service (usually cut and color)..... so I'm out atleast $10-15!  Last time she was an hour and fifteen minutes late when I called her and asked her what was going on.  She was VERY defensive and said "as a paying customer, you should not treat me this way."  I said "my PAYING customers usualy have the courtesy to show up on time!"  I'm about to tell her I can't accomodate her anymore.  Does anyone else have this problem? What do I do??

Posts: 28

Posted: Friday, February 01, 2008 12:42:09 AM
I think you should write Dear Abbey.

Posts: 27

Posted: Friday, February 01, 2008 12:42:30 PM

Sounds like she's taking advantage.

You need to tell her that when you do her hair, its a client relationship and not family. and if he runs late, she will need to reschedule because you have other clients who you need to take care of who does show up on time.

Posts: 198
Bronze Member

Posted: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:02:34 PM

My mother was always a tough case for me. We once went on vacation together (my first vacation in years) and she asked me to give her a blow out on the first night!

She's not quite like what your describing, but almost. I fired her as a client and she smartened up about it and finally listened to me. She knew I was serious when I refered her to somebody else and offered to pay for her first visit with her new hairdresser.

We had a long talk about it and I explained that doing hair is my career, not a hobby for her to join in. This was an extremely diffcult conversation to have. 

We came to agreement that if she wants me to be her hairdresser she has to act like a client. I explained that my clients don't call me at home because they need a touch up or a bang trim, and that clients pre-book appointments so that they can have their cut and color on the same day and on a regular schedule. That if I have to fit them in last minute it is a special thing that they are grateful for, and that they never expect or demand it. 

Because I put my foot down so firmly for once, she now pre-books her apointments and only calls me about her hair on very special occasions. We even have a rule that we don't discuss her hair outside of the salon! 

People don't get it. They think that because the salon is a fun place to visit that we are always doing it for fun. They actually forget that we are working!

I'm not saying that my solution is the perfect answer for you, but it definitely worked for me. It's important to have really clear boundaries for your mental health, especially when it comes to Mom.

Another thing that really helped me was that I refuse completely to do hair at home. I never let work into my personal life!

Posts: 11

Posted: Monday, February 11, 2008 7:35:39 PM
I only see my mom once a year & she still gets upset when I don't remember where she parts her hair. She says "How can you not remember?" THE GUILT!! Keeps me quiet. Although I love her to pieces I feel really bad for her regular hairdresser. I heard she went into the trash can to see what perm she had used. And she pulls the old "Well my daughter is a hairdresser".. Wish she was here. But I'm glad I'm not doing her hair.. GOOD LUCK!!

Posts: 30

Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2008 7:14:26 AM
Thanks for all your advice.  I really do need to sit down and have a talk with her.  There needs to be some respect and separation between our mother-daughter relationship and our professional relationship.  Last week when I did her cut and color, she PAID not tipped, $8.  I'm having to cover her expenses to do this and not to sound snooty, but I can't be covering her all the time.  Thanks for all of your words of encouragement!

Posts: 10

moms...gotta love 'em!
Posted: Monday, March 03, 2008 12:29:05 AM

My mom is not too bad of a client, thankfully, but a few years ago, she was not respecting me as a person.  Which is what this all boils down to,right?  I told her that she could have a relationship with me or not.  The facts were to remain the same.  She was petrified, and came around.  Maybe you could tell mom that you would like to be her daughter again, but that you quit as her stylist.  Recommend someone excellent to replace yourself, and leave it at that.  Respect yourself enough to stand up to her and she will return the respect.  You will be doing both of you a favor.

Posts: 30

Posted: Monday, March 03, 2008 7:07:58 AM
Your so right, it really is a respect issue.  Which is sad.  Thanks for your advice!

Posts: 102
Bronze Member

Posted: Friday, April 04, 2008 1:38:35 PM
My mother thinks I'm a magician.......'Nough said.